azswade's Blog

RED MARBLES

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes.

I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprizing a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes, but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas.

I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.  Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

'Hello Barry, how are you today?'

'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya.  Jus' admirin' them peas.  They sure look good.'

'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'

'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.'

'Good. Anything I can help you with ?'

'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas.'

'Would you like take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.

'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'

'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'

'All I got's my prize marble here.'

'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller.

'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'

'I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.

'Not zackley but almost.'

'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble', Mr. Miller told the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.

With a smile said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances.  Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or w hatever.

When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man.

A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one.

Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.

They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them.

Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men.

One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking.

They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket.

Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.

Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket.

Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller.  I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about.  They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them.

Now, at last, when Jim co uld not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their debt.'

'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho'. With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds.  Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles: ~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.

An unexpected phone call from an old friend.

Green stoplights on your way to work.

The fastest line at the grocery store.

A good sing-along song on the radio.

Your keys found right where you left them.

LIFE IN THE 1500'S    (Columbus discovered America in 1492)
 
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water
temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the 1500s:
 
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in  May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
 
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water..
 
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.
It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying It's raining cats and dogs.
 
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.
 
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, Dirt poor. The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a thresh hold.
 
(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)
 
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old..
 
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, bring home the bacon. They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat..
 
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
 
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper
crust.
 
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
 
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer..
 
And that's the truth...Now, whoever said History was boring ! ! !

 Remember...

a  layer of dust protects the Wood beneath it.

 'A housebecomes a homewhen you can write 'I love you' on the  furniture' I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect - 'in case someonecame   over' Finally I realized one day that no-one came over; they were all out
 living life and having fun!

 NOW, when people visit, I don't have to explain the 'condition'of my   home .

 They are   more interested in hearing about the things I've been doing while I
was away living life and having fun.

 If you haven't figured this out yet, please  heed this advice. Life is  short. Enjoy it!

 Dust if  you must ...... but  wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a letter,
 bake   cookies or a cake   and   lick the spoon or plant a seed, ponder  the difference between want and need?!

 Dust if   you must,   but there's   not much time . . . .  with  pop to drink , rivers to swim and mountains to climb, music   to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.

 Dust  if you must, but   the world's out there with the sun in your eyes, the  wind in your hair, a  flutter of snow, a shower of rain.  This day  will not come around, again.

Dust   if you must but  bear in mind,   old  age will come and it's not kind. . .

 And   when you go - and go you must - you, yourself will make more dust!

 It's not  what you gather,but what you scatter that tells what kind of   life you have lived.
And scatter I have.

  A lecturer when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked "How heavy is this glass of water?" 

 

 Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter.  It depends on how long you try to hold it.

 If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm.

 If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.

In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

 

 He continued,

 "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

  

"As with the glass of water,  you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.  When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

  

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down.

Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow.

  

 Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."

  

So my friend, put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.  Don't pick it up again until after you've rested a while. 

 

Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

  

 Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

  

 Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

  

 Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

  

 Drive carefully.  It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

  

 If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

 

 It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.

  

 Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

  

 Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

  

 It's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

  

 When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

  

Birthdays are good for you.  The more you have, the longer you live.

  

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

  

We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull.  Some have weird names,  but they all have to live in the same box.

  

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

  

Have an awesome day and know that someone has thought about you today...

  

May you always have Love to Share, Health to Spare, and Friends that Care

 

 Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a  lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing  briefly through Minneapolis . Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, quote, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called MoviPrep, which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous. Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor. Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, and then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons.) Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact   with the ground. MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but: Have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet. After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep. The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would  
not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you  are actually naked.

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got your self too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point.  Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand. There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by Abba. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' has to be the least appropriate.

'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I  slept through it. One moment, Abba was shrieking 'Dancing Queen! Feel the beat from the tambourine' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that it was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an internal organ.
( I would say "Cheers", but  somehow the expression "Up Yours" had a more appropriate ring to it.

 A new supermarket opened in Phoenix AZ.
 
 It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce
 fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of
distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.
 
 When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and
 you experience the scent of fresh mown hay.

 In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal
 grilled steaks with onions.

 When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and
 cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of
 bacon and eggs frying.

The bread department features the tantalizing smell of
 fresh baked bread and cookies.


I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

            Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha
            Cothren, a social studies school teacher at Robinson High School in
            Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten.

            On the first day of school, with the permission of the school
            superintendent the principal and the building supervisor, she removed
            all of the desks out of her classroom.

            When the first period kids entered the room they discovered that
            there were no desks.

            Looking around, confused, they asked, "Ms.! Cothren, where're our
            desks?"

            She replied, "You can't have a desk until you tell me what you have
            done to earn the right to sit at a desk."

            They thought, "Well, maybe it's our grades."

            "No," she said.

            Maybe it's our behavior." She told them, "No, it's not even your
            behavior.

            And so, they came and went, the first period, second period, third
            period. Still no desks in the classroom.

            By early afternoon television news crews had started gathering in Ms.
            Cothren's classroom to report about this crazy teacher who had taken
            all the desks out of her room.

            The final period of the day came and as the puzzled students found
            seats on the floor of the deskless classroom.

            Martha Cothren said, "Throughout the day no one has been able to tell
            me just what he/she has done to earn the right to sit at the desks
            that are ordinarily found in this classroom. Now I am going to tell
            you! "

            At this point, Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom
            and opened it.

            Twenty-seven (27) U.S. Veterans, all in uniforms, walked into that
            classroom each one carrying a school desk. The Vets began placing the
            school desks in rows, and then they would walk over and stand
            alongside the wall.

            By the time the last soldier had set the final desk in place those
            kids started to understa nd, perhaps for the first time in their
            lives, just how the right to sit at those desks had been earned.

            Martha said, "You didn't earn the right to sit at these desks. These
            heroes did it for you. They placed the desks here for you. Now, it's
            up to you to sit in them. It is your responsibility to learn, to be
            good students, to be good citizens. They paid the price so that you
            could have the freedom to get an education. Don't ever forget it."

            By the way, this is a true story....

This is VERY INTERESTING, especially for those of us that have a close relationship
with manure. For the rest of you, I think you will enjoy.

Manure... An interesting fact

Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported

by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments

of manure were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but
once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of
fermentation

began again, of which a by- product is methane gas.

As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen.

Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night
with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was
happening.

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term 'Ship High In
Transit' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower
decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo
and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down

through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.

I had always thought it was a golf term.

    POEM FOR MOM'S

              My son came home from school one day,
              With a smirk upon his face.
              He decided he was smart enough,
              To put me in my place.
    
              "Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
              that's taught by Mr. Wright?
              It's all about the laws today,
              The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'
    
              It says I need not clean my room,
              Don't have to cut my hair
              No one can tell me what to think,
              Or speak, or what to wear.
    
              I have freedom from religion,
              And regardless what you say,
              I don't have to bow my head,
              And I sure don't have to pray.
    
              I can wear earrings if I want,
              And pierce my tongue & nose.
              I can read & watch just what I like,
              Get tattoos from head to toe.
    
              And if you ever spank me,
              I'll charge you with a crime.
              I'll back up all my charges,
              With the marks on my behind.
    
              Don't you ever touch me,
              My body's only for my use,
              Not for your hugs and kisses,
              that's just more child abuse.

              Don't preach about your morals,
              Like your Mama did to you.
              That's nothing more than mind control,
              And it's illegal too!
    
              Mom, I have these children's rights,
              So you can't influence me,
    
              Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
              Better known as C.S.D"

     
              Mom's Reply and Thoughts
    
              Of course my first instinct was
              To toss him out the door.
              But the chance to teach him a lesson
              Made me think a little more.
    
              I mulled it over carefully,
              I couldn't let this go.
              A smile crept upon my face,
              he's messing with a pro.
    
              Next day I took him shopping
              At the local Goodwill Store..
              I told him, "Pick out all you want,
              there's shirts & pants galore.
    
              I've called and checked with C.S.D .
              Who said they didn't care
              If I bought you K-Mart shoes
              Instead of those Nike Airs.
    
              I've canceled that appointment
              To take your driver's test.
              The C.S.D. Is unconcerned
              So I'll decide what's best."
    
              I said "No time to stop and eat,
              Or pick up stuff to munch.
              And tomorrow you can start to learn
              To make your own sack lunch.
    
              Just save the raging appetite,
              And wait till dinner time.
              We're having liver and onions,
              A favorite dish of mine."
    
              He asked "Can I please rent a movie,
              To watch on my VCR?"
              "Sorry, but I sold your TV,
              For new tires on my car.
    
              I also rented out your room,
              You'll take the couch instead.
              The C.S.D. Requires
              Just a roof over your head.
    
              Your clothing won't be trendy now,
              I'll choose what we eat.
              That allowance that you used to get,
              Will buy me something neat.
    
              I'm selling off your jet ski,
              Dirt-bike & roller blades.
              Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
              It's in effect today!
    
              Hey hot shot, are you crying,
              Why are you on your knees?
              Are you asking God to help you out,
              Instead of C.S.D..?"

If a dog was the teacher you would learn stuff like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.!

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.


Thrive on attention and let people touch you.


Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back in the grass.


On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout;
run right back and make friends.




Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.


Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

      Summer Classes for Men at
       THE  ADULT LEARNING CENTER

      REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
      by Friday June 20,   
      NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL  OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS AXIMUM

      Class 1
      How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
      Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.  

      Class 2
      The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
      Round Table Discussion.
      Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.  

      Class 4
      Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and
Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.  

      Class 5
      Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
      Examples on Video.
      Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
      at 7:00 PM  

      Class 6
      Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
      Help Line Support and Support Groups.
      Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM  

      Class 7
      Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not
Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
      Open Forum
      Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.  

      Class 8
      Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
      Graphics and Audio Tapes.
      Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.  

      Class 9
      Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
      Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined  

      Class 10
      Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
      Driving Simulations.
      4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.  

      Class 12
      How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
      Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
      Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.  

      Class 13
      How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other
Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
      Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
      Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. !  

      Class 14
      The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
      Live Demonstration.
      Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.  

            
       Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the
survivors.

Good for him!!!
Surprised CBS let him get away with this even though he's right



Right on, Andy Rooney!

Andy Rooney said on '60 Minutes' a few weeks back:

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, which is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I have the right 'NOT' to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling; it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot you if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word 'freeze' or 'stop' in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich I don't pity the poor

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say 'NO!'

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of 'Political Correctness.' I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa ; so how can they be 'African-Americans'? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe . I am proud to be from America and nowhere else

And if you don't like my point of view, tough...

This should be posted in all schools and work places  


Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called any chance to work an opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you can read this - Thank a teacher! 

When things in your lives seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.   A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.   The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.  They agreed it was.   The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."   The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.   "Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.   The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.   The sand is everything else--the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.   "Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your  spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."   One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.   It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
   

Off-highway vehicle bill passes Arizona Senate, goes to Governor

June 24, 2008

 

Long-awaited legislation that will help better manage off-highway vehicle (OHV) recreation and protect wildlife habitat passed the Arizona Senate yesterday and has been sent to the Governor.

Senate Bill 1167, also known as the “Off-Highway Vehicle Bill,” passed the Senate by a vote of 16-7, with 7 members not voting.

The bill has been transmitted to Gov. Janet Napolitano and awaits her signature.

SB 1167 will provide long-overdue resources to better manage issues created by the dramatic increase in OHV use in Arizona (347 percent in the last decade). Irresponsible riding has damaged habitat and created the potential for closures of some areas. 

With the passage of SB 1167, revenue raised through an estimated $20 annual user fee (exact amount to be determined through a public rule making process) on off-highway vehicles will help provide funding for additional law enforcement, trail/facility maintenance and reconstruction, rider education and information (including identification of lawful places for operators to ride), and mitigation of resource damage from OHVs.

This “user play, user pay” approach is similar to that used by hunters and anglers, where sportsmen pay license fees to support their hunting and fishing opportunities and benefits. In this case, OHV users will pay the annual user fee to support the sustainable management of their recreational opportunities and resource protection.

“We’re thrilled to see this legislation pass,” said Arizona Game and Fish Commission Chairman Bill McLean. “Balancing the protection of wildlife habitat with opportunities for responsible OHV recreation has been a priority of the Game and Fish Commission. We worked hard on this bill with sponsor Rep. Jerry Weiers and the coalition of supporters, and we’re looking forward to its implementation.”

 “This was drastically needed to keep up with the explosive growth of OHV use in our state,” said Mike Senn, assistant director for field operations for the Arizona Game and Fish Department. “It provides beefed-up tools—information/education efforts on responsible riding, trail development and habitat mitigation, new laws to address irresponsible riding, and seven new OHV law enforcement officers—to better manage OHV recreation and protect wildlife habitat.”

The bill passed through the Arizona House of Representatives in April by a vote of 42-13.

Key supporters in the Legislature were Rep. Jerry Weiers (R-District 10) and Sen. Linda Gray (R-District 12).

The bill was supported by a diverse coalition of organizations, including the Arizona Game and Fish Commission, Arizona Game and Fish Department, Arizona Off-Highway Vehicle Coalition, Responsible Trails America (Arizona Chapter), Arizona Sportsmen for Wildlife, Arizona Power Sports Industry Association, Wildlife Conservation Council, Apache County ATV Roughriders, Sierra Club (Grand Canyon Chapter), Arizona Motor Sports Association, Arizona Wildlife Federation, Drew and the Crew Motor Sports, National Rifle Association, Arizona Council of Trout Unlimited, The Nature Conservancy, Sonoran Institute, Arizona State Parks, and Arizona State Land Department, among others.

When signed by the Governor, the OHV bill would become law on Jan. 1, 2009.

For additional information, visit www.azgfd.gov/ohv